First of all, I owe you all an apology for not delivering on time.? I tried to edit this entry on my iPhone while at work to make it in time for posting on Friday, however, that didn?t work out.? Writing a blog entry on an iPhone is ridiculously hard and being surrounded by 160 people makes it nearly impossible to focus.? I didn?t want to sacrifice the quality of the post simply to get it to you on time.? After sixteen hours on set and a week of sleeping only 4-hours a night, I felt extremely tired and dehydrated and so Saturday was a total write-off (meaning, I was lazy and didn?t do anything).? That?s a terrible excuse, but it?s the truth.? Here it is, the entry you?ve been waiting for.
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Resolution
Thursday, I went over the second element of a believable romantic relationship: obstacles ? are these realistic obstacles that could prevent them from falling in love? Today I?ll go over resolution; is it possible these two can overcome this obstacle in order to live happily ever after?
I kind of dealt with this in the last post when I discussed how obstacles must be surmountable. Guess I got a bit ahead of myself. I?m going to take it one step further. It?s one thing to be able to forgive one another for whatever it was that kept you apart, but is it believable that it won?t come between them again?
Harry & Sally. Their obstacle was sex. Once they had sex, it ruined their friendship, so their only option after that was to be together. We?ve already seen that they make a great couple, the only thing missing in their relationship was physical and emotional intimacy. Once the sex was out of the way, their new obstacle was admitting their true feelings for one another. Harry confessed his love for Sally, which made it impossible for her to be mad at him because she loved him too and he told her in a way she would believe.? Because Harry said what he loved about her were all the things other men considered flaws or reasons to leave her, she knew he?d never pull away like that again.? If a man loves you for who you are as you are, he?ll love you forever.
27 Dresses. Their obstacle was that Kevin used Jane to get a story and in the process, he assumed she was a certain kind of girl. Jane is that girl to some extent; she can?t say no. But when he realizes she?s not the victim he thought she was and tries to change the article, it?s too late.? Jane?s angry with him over the article, but when he tells her she never says no to anyone, it gets under her skin ? she knows he?s right.? Jane ultimately realizes Kevin is the kind of man she really needs, not her boss who appreciates that she never says no because it allows him to walk all over her.? We can believe the obstacle that kept these two apart will never resurface in their relationship because first of all, Jane sees what Kevin told her as true and it changed her life for the better, and secondly, Kevin realized he made a mistake in writing the original article without considering the feelings of those he wrote about, so it?s unlikely he?ll ever do anything like that again.? They need each other: Kevin to tell Jane when to be selfish and Jane to keep Kevin from being too selfish.? There?s nothing separating them once they admit their feelings for one another.
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What?s an example of an obstacle that can?t be resolved?
Fundamental character flaws that makes them incompatible.
I have a hard time believing a gorgeous go-getter and a lazy unemployed schlubb as in Knocked Up would last regardless of his attempts to man-up.? The obstacle they have to overcome is their total incompatibility.? She doesn?t change, he does.? But can he really be the kind of man she needs in the long-run?? Sharing a kid isn?t enough to hold two people together.? If it were, divorce rates wouldn?t be so high.? Even if Seth Rogen had been replaced by say Ryan Reynolds, he still didn?t have a job, acted like a boob, and had a collection of ridiculous friends who would always hold him back in life.
Breaking trust.? Once trust leaves a relationship, it?s doomed.
All the above examples, trust was reinstated either because both parties committed the same offense or because the offense wasn?t really that awful, it was merely the wake-up call they needed, but didn?t want to hear.? If the balance is off or the offense is too strong, it mostly likely won?t be resolved or will come back later in the relationship.? In Lose A Guy, had Ben not used Andie in the exact same way as she used him, there wouldn?t be a possibility of forgiveness. He wouldn?t be able to understand how she could do something so awful. Not only that, but because her objective was to lose him, she never would have bothered to get to know him to care if she lost him. He would have to be really persistent & charming to win her over so she feels badly about using him every step of the way and then she?d have to either let go of the game or her job.? But the way the movie is written, they both see glimpses of their true nature, which is what makes them fall for one another and wins out in the end.? Despite their stupid games or even because of them, it?s clear they found their match.
In The Proposal, the balance starts off on Margaret?s side because she?s a selfish nasty bitch who ropes her assistant into marrying her to stay in the country, threatening him with his job.? It doesn?t get much worse than that.? Andrew gets his own back by using her to lie to his family, pretending they?re really a couple.? This irritates his father to the point where he calls immigration and has Margaret deported to stop his son from ruining his life.? Even though Margaret apologizes for the harm she caused, it still seems a bit lop-sided.? For Andrew to chase after her and offer to marry her even if he did fall in love with her, seems a bit hard to believe.? Yet, because Margaret sacrificed her career to be selfless for once shows she really loves him and so it should be enough for us to believe she?s changed and would never use anyone again.
Tomorrow (Monday), part 4 ? do we care if these two end up together?? (I promise, it?ll be there.) ? Yolanda
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